Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.

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(419): View more from Ohio

There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around

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(843): View more from South Carolina

By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,

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(530): View more from California

I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.

(1-530): View more from California

fuck. you.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"

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(562): View more from California

Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?

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(310): View more from California

Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)

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