I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My pussy is not your playground.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Randomize
