Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
