You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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