great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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