u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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