the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
