And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
