So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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