google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
