im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I am one with the molecules
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
