Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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