I'm gonna have a badass scar
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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