Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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