So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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