from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
