sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
