I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
