OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize