guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize