everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
