How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
