sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
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