How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
