he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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