i think my mom watched the whole time
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think pants incapable of making pants work
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize