Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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