babies were throwing up all over the place
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
