Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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