idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
