dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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