No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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