too bad you live with your parents still
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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