i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
