I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
