I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize