Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize