Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
