Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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