I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
