So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
