Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
