Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize