Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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