The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
