I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
