Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
This baby is an asshole
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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