fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
