She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i black out too much to be "responsible"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The air taste purple.
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