Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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