Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
