Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
