I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
