Define "chronic" masturbator.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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