who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize