Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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