But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
