So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
